Suffering in Silence No Longer
I’ve been lying here, it seems, all day. The TV has been on non-stop. First I watched the shows I DVRed the night before. Then I catch up on a new on demand show I can veg on, and I’m ending the day with the Scream TV series on Netflix. I think part of the reason I like the TV on all the time is it feels less lonely. I’m not actually sitting and watching it all day. Most of the shows are the type you don’t have to pay that much attention to in order to follow along.
I managed to do some laundry and put the dishes away. Today was painful. It is like I woke up to my stomach on fire from the inside, slowly burning and getting hotter and hotter until I can’t take it anymore and I take my first narcotic.
I’m not eating much. When my stomach hurts this bad, I don’t want to put any food in it. I end up sitting here all day, waiting for the time to go by, hoping the pain will lessen.
Feeling this way, I want to crawl in a cave and disappear. I don’t have the desire to sit in the car, let alone go hang out with friends or family. Even talking seems to cause my stomach distress, and I find myself avoiding talking on the phone.
Disappearing isn’t healthy. It doesn’t take the pain away, it just makes me more withdrawn and depressed.
Therefore, I have been taking steps on getting out of my shell of suffering and stepping back on the court of the real world.
First step, getting regular exercise. Thanks to my husband, his great job, and his network of people in healthcare, I’ve been learning to exercise with my pain and can feel myself getting stronger. I’ve reached out to friends to come visit, so I no longer need to go out to socialize. Small steps that make a huge difference.
Starting up Hilary’s Home and Swedish Freak are another way I’m taking a step out of this shell. Writing when I’m inspired and feeling good seemed so easy, looking back. It is easy for me to share all the great things in my life. The dirty and the ugly, not as much. It’s embarrassing, it makes me feel weak. Yet it is normal for any human being to be…well, human! Humans make mistakes, humans aren’t perfect, and humans get weird diseases.
I may miss week here or there. However I’m committed I will keep coming back and sharing what I discover in health, wellness, family and home at least twice a week. Being a homemaker does have its advantages, like finding amazing new recipes to try, making my own, and discovering great life hacks for a family safe home.
Thank you family, friends and fans for your continued love and support while I fight for my health. I realize I’m not sure how long the battle will be, however I will continue to live, contribute and enjoy my life no matter what!